Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Of course I have a pirate flag
that may or may not have been my penis.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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