Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
