God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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