it hurts more in the daytime
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
