i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
