Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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