ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
