i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
