so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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