Say something about gay babies.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
