no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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