My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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