She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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