found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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