I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
