I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
