Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
