So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
