In the future we'll all be gay
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize