also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
