I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
