i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
