i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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