i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
