508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
