She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
