So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
