Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
