Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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