Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
