I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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