I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize