operation harelip BJ is a go
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
