My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
