it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
