Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
