worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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