What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
