I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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