Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
