I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
