I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize