Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Everyone says I win the strip club
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
