I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
