I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
