why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
