my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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