so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
