she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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