I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
