BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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