he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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