remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
