Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
