Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize