All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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