Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
