Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
